...whose parents my ex has to go to in order to sort out the swap of possessions after the fact. I am an adult, and as such I will make sure that my parents stay out of the fallout after a breakup - I will face my ex myself to cut off connections as cleanly and politely as possible.
...who bitches, holds grudges, extracts revenge, et cetera. Once it's over, it's over, and while anger is a natural reaction to all the injustices of ended relationships, acting on that anger non-productively by seething about how badly I've been wronged is, frankly, well... non-productive.
...who tries to remain good friends in the immediate months following the breakup. No matter how amiable the split, I, at the very least, need time to step back and gather my own life together. Three months is a good minimum span of time to cut off ties with an ex you want to be friends with in the future. Sometimes, a whole year works all the better.
...who does not uphold promises made in the context of a relationship just because of a fight. As far as reasonably possible, when I make a promise I will keep it.
...who speaks badly of her exes. I might rant and rave to my best friends for a few months as the wounds start to knit themselves together, but when it comes to future relationships, I will speak indifferently if not kindly of my exes. It's a part of the past. I may hate an ex or two but nobody deserves to be disrespected if it's all said and done.
...who tries to win an ex back. If it ended, it was meant to end. Of course there MIGHT be exceptions, but they are rare. I will not date my exes.
So it only took three boyfriends to learn these things. Some of them I learned from my own mistakes and some I learned from their mistakes... for instance, I'm still fuming over the fact that I just had to plea to my twenty-one year old ex's parents in order to get him to adhere to an agreement about my rats we'd made ages ago. However, I got my rats back. He's good. I'm good. It's over. C'est la vie. :)
Back to Athens tonight. 8 AM CLASS TOMORROW! Bring it.
Oh, I love your rats!
ReplyDeleteYou know what the told me?
They want to visit Utah!
Don't worry though,
I told them it wasn't a good idea.
:p Yeah, probably not. I do believe they've inherited my fear of planes. Their squeaking would upset the other passengers.
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