what I've learned about money...

Life can be good without it.

That's not to say that my current life isn't padded by money - I won't deny where I'm privileged. I'm attending university on government funds. That's about $18,000 a year worth of classes, food, shelter, books, etc. Then if I run into any emergencies, I have insurance and my parents to turn to, not to mention the school providing for counseling and Planned Parenthood providing for my sexual health. All free, for me, or paid for by loans and grants. All privileges which separate me from the impoverished. I have a car. I spend the majority of the time hanging out in a house (that I've signed a lease for! I'll be living here next year, officially) that has cable TV, high speed wireless internet, running water, electricity, etc. So, to reiterate... I'm not poor.

I am flat effing broke, and addicted to cigarettes.

If nothing else, the addiction has showed me exactly how much I would notice being broke otherwise: zilch. Not being able to go out to dinner, or pitch in for pizza with a group of friends, or pick up a 24 of Pabst to chill with my buds on a Saturday night... it's all kind of sad, but we all know how to be broke and we all know how to share with each other when one of us has the tenacity or luck to come upon a bit of cash.

Only coming up with $5 a day for something that you don't even think about being expensive when you do have money... that's a bitch. Here's to the willing ignorance that went into starting this addiction and here's to the fact that now I'm pretty much being forced to quit because I am BROKE as a mofo... but certainly I would eventually know to quit on my own, barring lack of funds, right? ... RIGHT. DON'T SMOKE KIDS.

xD Anyway, the thing is... there are a thousand ways to be happy when you're broke. For instance: pay attention to the fact that you're not poor. You have a roof over your head, friends, very little responsibility and thus very little need to not be broke, and even some animal companions to make the days full of joyous romping around.

Sometimes I feel like my brain is just a mishmash of COMPLAIN and SELF PITY and I'm here to tell it to stick its nose elsewhere, like in the kitchen which will smell of brownies as soon as the oven is fixed. I've got a couple of years to figure out how to be broke so that when I graduate college and I'm no longer just broke but POOR, I can manage, and not just manage, but thrive. Because I'm about half an inch away from giving up on whatever my capitalist society defines as success and defining it myself.

WILL POWER. Ha. That's what.

Be happy.